Poor Sunny. It’s the worst night of his year. Again.
He’s easily spooked at the best of times. But all those booms bangs cracks and whistles of the fireworks outside are just too much for his delicate constitution - and incredibly powerful hearing. Hiding and whimpering in the toilet in the middle of our house, sheltering in his cosy dog bed with the reassuring hum of the extractor fan, he’s not a happy puppy. He’s not a puppy at all at 10 years old. But those fireworks scare the crap out of him.
You can’t really blame Dionysus Bainbridge. Being Catholic was his only crime, which was a risky business in 16th Century England. Bainbridge married Edith Fawkes when her husband Edward died. But who knew her impressionable 8 year-old son Guy would be so enamoured with the religion he’d end up plotting to blow up the British Houses of Parliament to return the Catholic church to power that fateful night in 1605?
Fawkes was not alone in the gunpowder plot. In fact it was all Robert Catesby’s idea in the first place. But Fawkes was caught red-handed guarding 38 barrels of gunpowder under the Houses of Parliament. So it’s his name above the door when it comes to the UK’s ‘Guy Fawkes' or the more generic contemporary ‘Bonfire’ night.
At the time, Jews were still expelled from Britain - so there’s one thing we can’t be blamed for. Yet…
History has a way of picking memorable dates. And this 5th seems to be a doozy. I’ve never written the word ‘doozy’ before but as it’s a special day I hope it’s acceptable / forgivable.
As I write, on this 5th of November 2024, American citizens are voting for the next president of the United States. It’s a fiery one. Donald Trump vs. Kamala Harris. Both candidates controversial - Trump has been president before, somehow. And Harris, if she wins, will be the first female president - which is sooooo binary in 2024.
Unless you’ve spent the last year lost in a jungle, living in a dark cave or indeed in a wooden barrel in the basement of the Houses of Parliament, you’ll know all about Trump and his wild, wacky and quite frankly, dangerous ways. You’ll also know about the cover-up of incumbent president Biden’s cognitive decline and the strangely undemocratic crowning of Kamala as candidate. So I won’t get into the politics.
I will say that Jewish people in the USA and Israelis are incredibly divided on this election. Who will protect Jews on campus? In their businesses? At their synagogues? Will America support the Jewish state in its battle with the Jihadist IRGC and its many proxies? With Trump’s previous support of Israel in his last run as prez, the majority of Israelis do not forget he presided over the historical, potential world-changing Abraham Accords, moved the US embassy to Jerusalem and made the US the first country to recognise Israel’s sovereignty over the Golan Heights.
Will Kamala support Jews and Israel?
She’s not done much to stop the Jew hatred on US campus. She says she supports Israel’s right to defend itself. But what country doesn’t have that right, and indeed responsibility? Big question marks around the Democrats’ approach towards Iran. But maybe all of this is a question of holding on to her progressive base in order to win the election. Her husband Doug Emhoff is Jewish after all…. Having the first female president, who’s also African American would be a progressive step forward for the USA. Would she make a great president? She’s not been a particularly impressive Veep, but what do I know? I did see a photo of her hanging out with loud and proud squad member AOC on the day of the election, so that does give me pause and cause for concern. AOC is a big fan of the antisemitic (yes they are) college encampments and was filmed visibly crying when the US voted to support Israel’s advance defence system known as the Iron Dome.
This date will always mark a grim milestone in my own family’s mythology. It’s the date our daddy died, may his memory be a blessing. We will never forget it. Even though it was now an almost unbelievable 36 years ago.
Losing your dad is never easy for anyone. And it wasn’t for me. It took a few lost years to settle into the idea of his absence before I really caught my breath and started to make sense of life without dad. I really should have got some therapy.
This year is a particularly tough anniversary as our mother died earlier this year. So while she survived and thrived long after our father, we now find ourselves parentless.
I did get therapy this time round. And it’s been a huge help. If you, or anyone you know is struggling with loss, I cannot recommend enough the huge help I’ve had through a superb therapist who used the tried and tested ‘Grief Recovery Method’. They define grief in a surprising but compelling way. Ready? According to them, “Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in, a familiar pattern of behavior” (US spelling as it’s an American innovation). Let that one sink in. It does make a lot of sense…
It’s a practical, finite (7 thorough sessions in as many weeks), deeply honest, emotional and proactive protocol that takes the sting out of the pain. And it works. If you need it, do it.
Sunny lost his parents too. He was abandoned and dumped in a box in a field with his siblings somewhere in Cyprus at only a few weeks old. Lucky for him, a sweet and kind charity called SOS dogs rescued him. In a strange coincidence for this tale, when he came to us, his name was Dionysus too. Not Bainbridge though - and no relation to Guy Fawkes…
He’s been a treasured part of our family since he was about 5 or 6 months old. Never totally sure of what’s going on, he’s put up with all kinds of dressing up, muddy walks, wet and windy great British weather and the traumatic appearance of our second, alpha dog Misty a few years ago. No amount of therapy can cure him of her antics I fear.
I’ve been trying to apply the Grief Recovery Method to the losses we’ve endured since October 7th 2023. So far, I’ve not been successful, but working on it.
What have we lost? First of all, around 1200 victims of the Hamas attack. And the freedom of around 250 hostages, some of whom have regained their freedom. Although as demonstrated by the tragic story of Nova survivor Shirel Golan taking her life, freedom is not necessarily a simple experience for anyone who survived that darkest of days.
We lost trust in Israel’s military defence, which failed to protect its citizens when they needed it most; while watching footage and the documentaries from the attack is sickening and torturous, we are seeing how so many heroes emerged that day.
We lost friends. Each of us individually and as a community, who have turned their backs on us. Somehow the world seemed to lose its mind - and moral compass from October 7th.
In the west, we lost the left (about which I’ve written before) and the support of our institutions. The UN has shown its true colours as a racist, despotic home for dictatorships, dragging its heels on denouncing the sexual violence perpetrated by Hamas against female victims, continuing to fund UNRWA and constantly attacking Israel whenever possible.
We’ve lost trust in our media to report news without bias. And in our governments and police to adequately protect Jewish students on campus, our businesses and synagogues. The immediate explosion of antisemitism and in its latest guise as Anti-zionism that showed its perennial ugly face from the day of the attacks and for the past almost 400 days since.
The world seemed to swallow it up and regurgitate all the lies of the jihadist protests, the lazy, biased media and the irresponsibly hateful faculty of elite universities around the western world. Falsely claiming Jews and Israel are genocidal, invoking the ancient blood libels we have lived with since the church started blaming us for killing Jesus and using the blood of babies to bake matzah - who makes this shit up?
Good grief. We continue to grieve. I’m glad my dad didn’t have to witness all this hate. He was never a religious man, but a proud and loyal member of his Jewish community.
And now, on this most momentous night, Israel’s PM, another controversial (to say the least) leader has decided to fire his celebrated Defence Minister Yoav Gallant. In the middle of a war. On seven fronts. Why? How? What the actual….? It seems this is another of Netanyahu’s political manoeuvres - designed to retain his coalition and protect his own position - this complex story will unfold in the goodness of time.
Meanwhile fireworks, missiles, rockets and attacks keep coming at Israel - from Hamas in Gaza, Judea & Samaria (West Bank of Jordan), Hizbollah in Lebanon, The Houthis in Yemen, now Iraq and Syria too. If you want to know how it feels like everyone’s out to get you, look no further.
And worse, there are still 101 hostages, alive or dead, still being held in Gaza.
So on this historic day, which has stealthily and quite suddenly become night, we still don’t yet know the result of the US election. But as the 5th of November turns into the 6th, it’s just too early to call. Whatever your stars or stripes, we live in hope for a return to decency, democracy and will never forget our dear, departed dad, may he rest in eternal peace. Love you dad.
POSTSCRIPT: It’s tomorrow morning now and it looks like it’s a victory for Trump, promising to Make America Great Again, again. Who knows what’s coming next…? Buckle up folks. It’s going to be bumpy ride!
Let's hope the fireworks die down soon and we return to some sanity around us...